


Broken

by jdjunkie



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst, Break-up sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-01
Updated: 2012-02-01
Packaged: 2017-10-30 11:21:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/331213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdjunkie/pseuds/jdjunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Round and round they went ... breaking apart until the pieces shattered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

It was like a carousel. Round and round they went, loving, fucking, arguing, hurting and hurting some more, then breaking apart until the pieces shattered and they realized they were the only ones who could put each other back together again.  
  
Only for it all to start over again. And again.  
  
Daniel seemed able to cope. Jack couldn’t.  
  
Daniel put the sex and the love and tears into tiny compartments and sealed them shut; catalogued, noted, stored away where the whole mess could hurt him only if he let it.  
  
Jack tried to file away the tenderness and the pain and bone-deep ache he had for Daniel into little boxes, but he couldn’t smash down the lids. He kept taking the pieces of his heart out into the light where he could look at them and despair because Daniel was all he wanted and needed and it wouldn’t fucking work.  
  
And he couldn’t do it anymore.  
  
So, the night after Euronda – after he’d hammered the latest nail into the coffin of their friendship – he stroked into Daniel hard from behind and tried not to touch him with the tenderness that would break him later. He tried not to hold Daniel fast to his body, where the soft skin would cover and shield him and blanket him in the only warmth he had in his life. He bit is bottom lip against the endearments and apologies that tried to escape with every jolting thrust that forced them further up the bed and further apart by the second. In his heart he said,“I love you, need you, don’t want to lose you, can’t lose you, ever, I’m so sorry, so fucking sorry …”  
  
He strove for a completion he didn’t want because that would mean it was finally over and he’d never have this again, and shut his mind to the broken sounds that were coming from Daniel, cries that said, “I hear you, it’s OK, we’ll get through this, just like every other time, I want you …”  
  
Jack pushed into him, over and over, until his knees ached and his back and thigh muscles screamed, and as he grunted through the orgasm that broke across his senses like shards of ice blown into his body by a cold wind, he clasped Daniel to him because he couldn’t not do that. He panted hard and smushed his face into Daniel’s hair and breathed him in, mouthed the side of his face and neck, fought for every millisecond of closeness.  
  
He was dimly aware of Daniel jerking himself and tuned into the delicious, wet sound as those strong fingers worked their magic and Daniel came with a soft “Ja…” that Jack couldn’t bear to hear.  
  
Jack squeezed him tighter, let Daniel ride out his pleasure, took every aftershock into his body, absorbing the tremors. Absorbing Daniel.  
  
They stayed upright and tense, bodies locked in a paroxysm of grief and loss.  
  
“That was goodbye,” Daniel whispered, still struggling for breath.  
  
“That was everything,” Jack said, softly.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at the 2008 Jack/Daniel Kinkathon.


End file.
